I found a digital camera in the woods…

With those words, one of my all time internet memes/pranks was created. I’m not familiar with the entire history of this particular meme, and – frankly – I think if I were to learn the whole truth it might rob it of some charm. So, I’m not going to bother finding out.

Instead, I’m going to post what I remember of it, including the full set of “found in the woods” pictures.

The year was 2004, and the internet was in full bloom. What we now consider the Great Meme Factories had yet to fully usurp Something Awful and Fark from their places of meme propagation. It was, indeed, a dark and lonely time.

These pictures are believed to have been created by SA Goons (Something Awful forum users), and were used numerous times in prank postings across the internet. A typical thread would read:

Last week I drove to a nearby town. The town is surrounded by tall hills and mountains, and you can have a very pleasant hike down any of the numerous trails there. Anyway, I was climbing one trail and enjoying the good weather when I saw what looked like a silver box. When I approached, I saw it was a digital camera!

It would then contain the pictures, and not much else. But, that’s all that was really needed. The photographs themselves, artfully edited, flow in such a way as to tell a story. Things start out nice, if a bit foggy, a walk down a road some where. Trees, grass, and fog. Nothing much to worry about – nothing extraordinary.

Then, things start to get a bit darker – lighting wise. The “hidden” things in the images begin to be seen easier (such as the humanoid shape, or the cat spiders), and you know things aren’t going to go well.

The photographer keeping trudging ever onward, seemingly oblivious to the ominous warnings around him. He sees some abandoned building, explores it a bit… then presses on. Finally coming to the fog enshrouded tower – and the what it contains.

In fact, it’s not until this point in the “narrative” that we’re even made aware of the photographer. By this time, the wordless, descriptionless pictures have managed to build a sense of dread, when we finally see the former camera owners hand. This hand injects a sense of humanity into the proceedings, and sets the viewers up for the final revelation and denouement.

If one were to apply any sort of logic to the final pictures in this narrative, one would realize that there is none – that the whole thing must be fabricated. And yet, this didn’t deter me from greatly enjoying the pictures, and reading the various theories as to their origins. To this day, it remains one of my favorite internet “finds”.

Below are the “original” photos, posted in much the same way as they were all those years ago. Please, enjoy them…
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Summary:

Last week (sorry about the delay!) I spent four days at the Star Trek Las Vegas 2009 convention.

That’s four days of Star Trek, Star Trek stars and Star Trek fans. Four days of wandering the same halls, looking over some of the loot, and generally being surrounded by folks geekier than I am.

Four days of awesome.

This year was actually a bit mellower than previous conventions – they had fewer folks on stage on any given day, but made up for that by giving them a bit more time to do their thing. This time was greatly appreciated, as it gave the cast time to open up and really get into things. As always, I would have preferred just a bit more time for some of them (Frakes and Dorn, in particular), but I’m not going to be too picky. Any time is better than no time.

Full breakdown follows.

Pictures Taken: 331
Pictures Actually In Focus: 134

Mobile Me Gallery

Thursday:

• Rapping/Singing Ferengi
  Max “Rom” Grodenchick”
  Came out, told some interesting DS9 stories, some stories about the makeup and about being Rom, then did some songs and a bit of dance.
• Rapping/Singing/Dancing/Joking Klingons
  (Martok and Gowron)
  Pretty much what it says – two of the DS9 era actors, in full Klingon garb (only time I’ve seen a Trek actor actually in costume) and mostly in character, singing, dancing, fighting and generally being entertaining Klingons.
• Johnathan Frakes/Micheal Dorn
  (Cmdr. Riker, Lt. Cmdr. Worf)
  Not sure what else I need to say – Frakes was crazy as hell, and Dorn was barely saner. The two of them were just wild and entertaining, talking about everything from smashing eggs on “Ol’ Baldies” head, to flying planes and being old and fat.

Friday:

• DS9 Cast Panel
  A large group; Rosenberg enjoyed the hell out of it. I walked out, because it was kind of boring… Just like DS9.
• Robert Picardo / Ethan Philips “House Call”
  (The Doctor and Neelix, Star Trek Voyager)
  A two man play, written and performed by them. Very humorous – and filled with them bickering both in and out of character. I wish I could have recorded it – it was just awesome.

Saturday:

• George Takei
  (Mr. Sulu, TOS)
  It’s Sulu! What more do you need to know? Talked a bit about the new movie, and how he got into acting, his father, and then a bit about the gay marriage situation in California. Good times, great speaker.
• Christopher Llyod
  Doc Brown himself. Came out a bit dazed, and bit nervous but by the hours end he was rocking the joint. Told many great stories from his days of acting covering the entirety of his career. A great man, Mr. Lloyd.
• Voyager Cast Panel
  (Robert Picardo, Ethan Philips, Roxann Doawson, Tim Russ)
  As always, a highlight of the convention. Not sure why, but the Voyager crew are always my favorites to watch – always funny, always making each other – and us – laugh. They truly are a family, and it shows.
• Star Trek Online Developer Chat
  ZOMG! I cannot wait for this game to come out! I also got into the beta because my wonderful and amazing girlfriend was willing to sit in line for over an hour and half for me.
  The devs do have a handle on both the Trek universe and what it is that makes a game fun – I cannot stress just how awesome the game looks in motion, and how much I want to play it.

Sunday:

• Zachary Quinto (Harassed by Garrett “Harry Kim” Wang)
  (New Spock in the new Star Trek movie)
  Zach is hot. There’s no other way to put it – the man has such a strong stage presence that no less than THREE ladies (and possibly one man) nearly lost their shit when trying to ask him a question – and one girl was completely speechless in his presence.
  This, of course, did not stop Garrett from asking the nerdiest question of the entire convention, and also acting like the huge fanboy he must really be.
• William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy
  There are no words to describe this. Shatner was still bitter, if only for comedic effect, and Nimoy pretty much called him on it. It was a great way to end a good convention.

Loot Report:

STLV09 Loot

• Star Trek fleece pullover
• Red Shirt cologne (Because Tomorrow May Never Come)
• Intergalactic Bartender drink recipe book
• Gallifreyan Institute of Technology Tee
• United Federation of Planets Tee (thanks Nadia!)
• Mini- Prometheus, All Good Things Enterprise-D, Original Series Enterprise
• Star Trek Voyager two pack toy (Species 8472 and Harry Kim)
• Star Trek Voyager Voyager tree ornament
• 3D Trek new movie Enterprise 3D picture

So, how’s it work?

Well, not to mince words: It works great. It’s been quite some time since I’ve been this happy with a new piece of hardware, but the DSi is just great.

It’s roughly the same size as a light, if a bit thinner and lighter. This is due to no longer having a GBA port. The shell isn’t that slick, glossy plastic that was on the DS Lite – it’s a matte finish, and doesn’t feel like it’s gonna slip out of your hand. Not sure how it’ll stand up to scratches over time, but since none of my other handhelds have ever had a problem with scratches, I don’t expect this one to either.

The screens are much larger – and both brighter and more colorful. It’s much easier to see what’s going on, and games just look better on it. I’m not kidding – comparing the DSi and the DS Phat, it’s easy to see which one looks better in terms of graphics.

The buttons, I think, are placed better than they were on the DS Lite as well. Things are spaced better, and my hands no longer want to cramp as I’m playing. Can’t really say exactly why, but that’s just how it is.

So, the hardware is – in my opinion – better.

How’s the software?

When you power the system on, the system menu is a combination of the standard Sony XMB (seen on the PS3 or PSP) and the Will home screen – a welcome update from the funky, dated four-button mashup that was the original DS screen. Going in and out of any of the included software (settings, camera, recorder, etc) is simple, and – get this – does not require a re-boot of the DSi! Amazing, huh? Finally, changes can be made without having to power down and back on!

In a related note, simply tapping the power button acts as a soft reset- doesn’t power the system down, but does cause it to reset back to the DSi home screen.

The free web browser, available as a download from the DSi Ware store, sucks. It’s not good at all – it’ll barely display web pages, but it does so very slowly. Even though it’s based on Opera, it’s still a pile of crap. Hopefully other, better freebies will show up in time.

The OS is also vastly improved.

How’s the camera?

It’s a mixed bag. Taking pictures with it – in good lighting conditions – is fun. The camera works, in that pictures are taken – and some of the filters are fun too. By popping in an SD card, you can transfer your pictures off your DSi and on to a computer… And, as you can tell by the gallery below, this is not a replacement for a regular, real camera. It’s not even close. But, for messing around it’s pretty good. I’ve included a gallery of shots taken on my, and Nadias, DSi.

Final Thoughts?

All told, this is a great system, and the DS that you should by if you don’t already have one. If you still have a DS Phat, it might be worth considering a trade – it’s far superior to the old hardware. If you happen to have a DS Lite, however – it might not be worth it.

All told, with my DS Lite as trade, the system set me back $120. I think it’s money well worth it – I’m actually happy to play my DS again.

Details follow.

For approximately a week, Nadia brought her clothes and other small items to the apartment, one car load at a time. She would do this during the day, and when I got home at night I would help her bring things into the apartment to be stored away.

At the end of that Friday, the majority of her things had been brought into what was now our apartment – the only remaining items were her bed and a few other, smaller, items.

Friday afternoon, her and I met Rosenberg and Coldiron over at her old place, and we (by we I mean the Rosenbergs) loaded her bed to the top of his car, tied it down, and then brought it to the apartment. Via surface streets.

In the wind. There were a couple of times that I thought the whole thing was going to blow off the top of his car, and it did look like we were going to get rained on at any moment, but thankfully neither happened.

There is very little else to report: The move was completed without major incident, and thanks to Nadia’s efforts the apartment is now cleaner, and more homey, than before.

Pictures are included below.

How can you NOT want to see this?

Computer Desk - Click for Big

Obviously, there’s a lot of Doctor Who going on here, what with the two voice-changing helmets, talking Dalek toy and the TARDIS USB hub. And, of course, there’s the required Star Trek items – I think there’s actually something Trek related in almost every room of the apartment, and that’s beginning to scare me.

The mini Gamera and Ghidorah figures were imported from Japan, along with matching Dreamcast memory cards. Remember those things? They had built in LCDs, so you could play little mini-games when not near the home console? Well, the two that game with these had little Gamera/Ghidorah virtual pet games. They were neat, but I think someone erased both of mine. Someone who wasn’t me.

You may also notice I have a lot of Mac stuff. For the record, that’s the same laptop from the living room; I don’t own two Macbooks. Yet.

The camera get’s almost no use – I had planned on doing some sort of video blog, but once I saw how awesome some of them are, and how horrible the rest are, I lost all interest. Maybe I’ll focus (heh) on documentaries instead.

Next to the Desk - Click for Big

First, The Shirt: It’s a neat little number from Threadless, with a kick ass backstory and some awesome art. As with most Threadless shirts, it was a limited run… and, being a gaming shirt centered around a gaming icon, it sold out fast. I was only able to get an XXL, but I liked the design so much I didn’t care. I think it looks pretty spiffy hanging on my wall.

Yes, I have a TOS uniform shirt. No, I don’t wear it… And, yes, I also have the phaser and communicator to go with it. Got them all at the Star Trek Experience. Eventually, I hope to get a tricorder to go with them.

Table - Click for Big

The mother lode of Doctor Who stuff – a TARDIS from the 80′s, the new series TARDIS playset (which I’ll probably have to replace once the 11th Doctor takes over, seeing as how they’ll be redesigning the interior sets…), a 9th and 10th Doctor and Rose. Not pictured is the Capt. Jack Nadia got for me to mark nine months of being together…

Yes, the Apple Newton still works. It works very well, actually – in fact, if it weren’t so damn bulky (I mean, really! It’s HUGE!) I might consider using it on a day-to-day basis at work… Mostly as a gag.

There you have it – My computer nook. The part of the apartment with the highest concentration of geekness. With luck I’ll get the rest of the pad sorted out this weekend, so I may have some shots of the Game Graveyard, where all my older systems reside.

One of them caught my eye, and just made me realized what a total geek I am:

My Geeky Bookshelf

A full break down – after the jump.

My Geeky Breakdown (Click for Big)

Mind you, this is just a very small portion of my collection of stuff – the entire living room (and, well, the rest of the apartment) is filled with samples of geek culture.

I’ll post more as I finish the cleanup.

edit
pictures by request only.

At The Gates of Hell

Our first stop in Death Valley was the Information Booth at Hells Gate. Payed the $20 park fee, and admired the view for a while. Then we headed on down to… Um… Someplace that started with an S, I think. Checked out the shop there, filled up the tank for a reasonable 2.10 a gallon, and saw some ravens.

Now, I’ve talked about the Test Site Crows before, how monstrously huge they are. How they look at you, as if sizing you up… The fact that they can be seen flying away with rabbits, desert tortoises and the occasional small child. Think Deep Crow from Penny Arcade, and you’re close. Well, Nadia had heard the stories, but thought I was exaggerating on the size.

Then she saw a Death Valley Raven. All foot and a half tall of it.
And she knew every word I spoke was truth.

We, quickly, disagreed on just how cute (or ugly) they were – I happen to think they are pretty creatures, cute as a button and just so very interesting. She, however, disagreed: Thought they were rather creepy, kind of homely, and was ready to get away from them as soon as she could.

So, we got back into the car, and began the long drive to Scottys Castle. Which is neither Socttys, nor a Castle. It’s a Spanish style ranch house that was owned by… Some other rich fellow, but Scotty bragged about… Honestly? Go on the tour. It’s worth it – they tell the story better than I could ever do, and you also get to see leather drapes.

Yes, drapes made out of leather. How awesome is that?

We also checked out the adjoining clock tower, which was just way cool – standing outside of it and listening to it tick was… Well, relaxing and almost magical. I love clocks, I love time, and things that tick fascinate me no end. It’s like the steady heartbeat of the universe, or something.

It was quite cool.

By this time, it was starting to get dark… So, we did the only sensible thing: We drove further out into the desert to check out the giant crater of a dormant volcano. Once there, we were fairly quickly struck by the beauty of the place, and more quickly struck by just how damn cold it was getting, and how quickly it was growing dark. I kind of wanted to check out the bottom of the crater, but Nadia wisely pointed out that it was dark, it was cold, and only a fool would go down there without a flashlight or something.

The Germans

I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

Since the place was quickly getting colder, darker and filled with crazy yodeling tourists, we did what any smart people would do: Climbed a very steep hill composed entirely of gravel so that we could see another, smaller, crater.

There are no pictures of that crater, as it was very dark and I was very out of breath. So, we went back to the car.

And drove.

For a long time.

We stopped once, after it was really dark – and the visibility was near nil thanks to fog and dust – and checked out the stars. There were so many of them, so many more than we see in the City. It was something special, just being there in the blackness, looking up and seeing so many tiny, twinkling points of light. Everywhere you looked was black with dark, and shiny with tiny, tiny stars.

It was wonderful, until we started getting cold. So, once again, into the car, back to civilization.

Then we got lost.

We dug out the map, backtracked, found the right road, and forged onward to get to our motel… Which we stayed in for all of ten minutes before we headed across the parking lot to the only place to eat in town.

I shall spare you the details, but suffice to say: If you ever visit Beatty, Nevada, bring your own food. Seriously.

Saturday

We woke up fairly early (for us, 8:30), packed up the car, checked out and hit the road. First stop: Ryholite Ghost Town… It was neat, but very windy and very, very cold. Nadia didn’t have too much fun, mostly because of the wind and the cold, so we didn’t spend too very long there. Which is fine, there wasn’t too much too see – and what was there to be seen was blocked off for our “safety”. Bah!

We did also check out the Open Air Museum, which consisted of some creepy death shroud statues (including and all death Last Supper), a giant metal miner and penguin, and a giant cinder block naked lady made in the art style of an Atari 2600 game.

It was… Something. Odd, I think is the term.

On the way out, I saw a golden tarantula. Lived in this state nearly nine years, and that was the first time I’d seen a giant fuzzy spider in the wild (The less said about the time I found one in my cubical, the better). It was very cool, and very furry. In person, in the wild? Not actually that scary.

The cool thing: It was attempting to cross the road when I saw it, so I got out and took pictures… Which caused a carload of German tourists (Not the crater ones, a different carload) to stop, take even more pictures – then attempt to help the little guy across the road.

After this, drove, for ages, to… Flattop? Flintlock? Firetree? Not sure, to be honest. I know it started with an F. We drove there, looked at the Visitor Center (Pro Tip: Nadia + Road Trip = Stopping at Visitor Centers) to check out the museum, and maybe get some water.

No water, so we drove onwards to a neat little hotel/restaurant at the top of a hill… Which is accessed by a neat little elevator at the end of a neat little tunnel filled with spiders.

Little, creepy spiders.

I was not very happy, but the food was good, so that kind of made up for it. I pretty much ran out the tunnel after lunch. My pride meant less to me than being away from the damn spiders.

Funny how I can handle a giant bugger covered in fur, but a little one? Not so much.

We then ventured forth to Bad Water, famous for it’s bad water and giant salt plains. Oh, and being 282 feet below sea level. It was neat, if a bit hot… real easy to breathe, too. I enjoyed it quite a bit, poking about, seeing the crystals, playing with the water we found.

Good times.

Then the drive through Artists Drive (the view was meh, but the driving? So fun!), and then home.

The drive home was fairly uneventful too – Nadia fell asleep, I took a different route back and had myself a good time going down the lesser traveled roads in the state. It was a long drive, though, and I was very happy to see the lights of Vegas again.

So, all in all, a fun trip. I’m looking forward to spending another weekend in Death Valley someday, maybe with camping gear or something.

Here’s a gallery of the pictures I took on the trip.

It gives me a lot of science – and science related – blogs. That’s fine, I like science and geeky stuff. Sure, I don’t even come close to understanding some of the more high end stuff (the numbers and terms make my brain go all wonky), but it’s still a nice read once in a while.

There’s the odd assortment of random webcomics – although the majority of them are somewhat crap. I’m sorry, but it’s true: 97% of webcomics are crap, including my own aborted monster. of the remaining 3%, a full nine-tenths is Penny-Arcade, leaving a very small market for actual good, non-PA comics. I’ve found a couple, and have enjoyed them.

The remaining stuff Google throws at me? Personal blogs of small Mormon families in Las Vegas.

No, really – I’ve had four of them tossed my way recently. They are all pretty much the same, too: Pictures of small children, pictures of family events, and general family stuff that is not at all interesting to anyone who isn’t them. Many posts talking about the kids, or the husband, or how boring it is being a housewife, or what it’s like to be a Mormon in Vegas, or that potato salad recipe your mother in law loves… That kind of thing.

I’ve got no idea what part of my normal reading habits would lead Google Reader to the conclusion that I would enjoy such a glimpse into the nuclear family, but I don’t. Oh, sure, I flip through a few posts to make sure that this is, indeed, what it is- but then I click the “No Thanks” button and move on down the list.

Has Google decided that I should live my life vicariously through these seemingly happy families? Has it decided that I’m a voyeur of of some sort, who craves a peek at others inner lives? Or maybe it’s just some weird fluke?

All I know for sure is that those kids are kind of ugly, your husband is a bit of a fatty, and your self-dyed hair looks trashy. You should be ashamed of yourself and your friends, and you should stay off my damn reader!

But, I would like to at least get something down – so here goes. Might not be the best piece of prose, but at least it’s an attempt at chronicling the events of my Birthday Weekend.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

PTs. Drinks with Coldiron.
Nadia showed up eventually, her friend Yanni followed later.
We had more drinks, talked, played pool.

Then midnight came…

Thursday, November 6, 2008
The new waitress brought out a cake, with candles… For me. Nadia and Coldiron and Yanni sang happy birthday. I was surprised, taken off guard. Mostly.

Nadia gave me a great coat and a spiffy card. Coldiron gave me a Unicorn pen. Yanni brought chocolate. The cake, too, was chocolate with chocolate frosting, my name in green and little hearts or flowers in purple. Green and purple for Nadia and I… I still have some of it in my fridge. It is yuummy.

We all went our separate ways shortly after.

That Morning

Work kind of sucked. I was tired, I was ready to go home almost as soon as I got there. I did my best to just make it through the damn day.

My dad took Rosenberg and I to lunch, and later my co-workers sang to me, a ritual in this department. Off key, at the top of the lungs… A cacophony of comradery.

That night Nadia and I had dinner with my folks. She gave me a watch… I love watches. It was actually a total surprise – I loved it.

We had sushi.

Friday, November 7th

Slept in. Played some games… Saw Repo! with Nadia. It was a great movie.

Saturday

We painted at my parents house. It was… Okay. I had an asthma attack- a bad one. It kept bothering me for a few days, too… I just didn’t mention it much.

Nadia and Dad made fried Spam sammiches. They were yummy.

Sunday
Sushi again. I love raw fish.
With Nadias auntie and uncle.
It was fun. I enjoyed, because I was with her.

Had red bean ice cream, it was different.

Eventually I went over to Coldirons. We played and drank some White Russians and Mudslides then played Halo 3 until 4am.

Monday I slept. I watched Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter.
It was pretty good.
I missed Nadia.

Tuesday

Met Nadia for Lunch at the Fashion Show mall. Ate at an Italian place. She bought me a Dragonforce CD.

That night, Rosenberg, Coldiron and myself saw Dragonforce in concert. We sat in the VIP lounge, drinking free Mudslides.
It.
Was.
EPIC.

My Twitter feed could not contain the epicness, and my iPhone camera scored and EPIC PHAIL when trying to get any pictures.

Nadia, and the guys, and I, and Anna, had a late snack after the show. They had seen Mama Mia, it got out at the same time.

It was neat.
It was a grand weekend, five days off…

One more day to chronicle tho…

Wednesday
We saw Repo! again.
I am sure now that I like this movie, and parts of it have entered my daily working vocabulary.

There are pictures on the Facebooks, and .Mac Galleries… Eventually I’ll get around to collecting them all and posting them here… Or linking to them or something.

But, all said: It was great.

I just wish I had the words to describe it in full.