To: All Staff
From: Tech Support
Re: The Color Printer
The network color printer is still out of commission – it is jamming, regardless of where the paper is fed from. We are aware of the problem, and are working as quickly as we can to fix it. In the mean time, please do not send any more jobs to it – they won’t come out anyway, so it’s just a waste of your time and mine. Also, please refrain from dropping by my cubical every five minutes to either ask if it’s still broken, or let me know that it is broken. I know it is – that is why there is a note on the printer in my hand writing saying that it’s broken. When it’s fixed, I’ll let you know – and remove the note. Until the note is gone, it’s broken.
One last thing to be aware of: Contrary to popular belief, beating the printer like a rented mule will not, I repeat, will not make it work any faster, and may cause further damage to both the printer and my sanity. The next person to use undue force on the printer will be choked with a CAT6 cable, as outlined in the employee manual in Chapter 32, Subsection 4F.
Thank you and have a nice day.