Dunny Zero Dot Net

Attention: People with Whom I Work
Re: The Printer

As you no doubt have noticed, the 5500C is not currently able to print 11×17 without jamming up. I have looked at it, poked and prodded it, all to no avail: I do not know why it is jamming. I have asked our wonderful and talented IS Department to take a look, and they will get around to fixing it eventually.

In the mean time, I suggest that you send any and all 11×17 size jobs to one of the other five printers in our area that are equipped to handle them. I would also like to ask that you refrain from attempting to fix the printer yourself, as pounding on the thing like a deranged, rabid monkey might attack a tin of Spam in the hopes of getting something edible from within is quite counter-productive and rather irritating to listen to. Your rage is wasted on the printer, as it cannot feel pain anymore than you can logically work out that beating on it will probably do nothing but exacerbate the issue.

Oh, and one last thing: Stop running into my cubical and expecting me to drop everything to work on your complaints. I’ve got my own large list of “Things To Do”, and getting fussy with me will not elevate your issues to the top of said list.

Yours etc,
J